22 agosto 2007

"O que se diz às crianças?"


Olá filhão,
o paizão foleiro lá anda, a par da mãe, aqui e ali a ler e aprender um pouco sobre truques e tricas, dicas e ideias e ensinamentos úteis para nos guiarem e assim podermos dar ainda mais e melhor de nós e te podermos ajudar nesta Terra maravilhosa e nesta Vida umas vezes mais fácil que outras.

Deixo aqui, para me poder lembrar e para poder partilhar, o resumo de um dos tópicos abordados por Carol Dweck e que está assim publicado na Stanford Magazine, sobre o que dizer às crianças e como dizer às crianças, por forma a que tu, filhão, não te sintas nem pressionado demais, nem bajulado demais.

Aqui vai:

You have a bright child, and you want her to succeed. You should tell her how smart she is, right? (...) Her research on fifth graders shows otherwise. Labels, even though positive, can be harmful. (...) Well-meaning words can sap children’s motivation and enjoyment of learning and undermine their performance. (...)

Here are Dweck’s tips from Mindset:

* Listen to what you say to your kids, with an ear toward the messages you’re sending about mind-set.

* Instead of praising children’s intelligence or talent, focus on the processes they used:
- Example: “That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.”
- Example: “That picture has so many beautiful colors. Tell me about them.”
- Example: “You put so much thought into that essay. It really makes me think about Shakespeare in a new way.”

* When your child messes up,
give constructive criticism—feedback that helps the child understand how to fix the problem, rather than labeling or excusing the child.

* Pay attention to the goals you set for your children; having innate talent is not a goal, but expanding skills and knowledge is.

Don’t worry about praising your children for their inherent goodness, though. It’s important for children to learn they’re basically good and that their parents love them unconditionally, Dweck says. “The problem arises when parents praise children in a way that makes them feel that they’re good and love-worthy only when they behave in particular ways that please the parents.”


Para ler tudo no artigo da Stanford:
What Do We Tell the Kids?

Para ler o artigo de fundo da psicologista, também na Stanford Magazine:
The Effort Effect


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